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I started out identifying as a top, decided I was wrong about my whole life and adopted bottoming, and have recently settled into being very much a switch.

Who knows what will happen next! Besides the rapid death of democracy and the equally rapid rise of fascism!

Life is a journey. Last week, I presented you with a survey about these slippery wordsand over 3.

These are the demographics of the respondents:. Survey responses suggested that there are three distinct approaches to these terms from queer women, trans men and non-binary people:.

Mainw The penetration-related activities mentioned in the below graphic involve fingers and strap-ons because they were the acts most statistically numerous in our survey results, Looking for that submissive type Portland Maine one of course other kinds of penetrative sex exist, including with toys or with penises when some amab transfeminine people or trans women are having queer sex, and are enjoyed by many bottoms of all kinds.

While bottoms expressed a similar level of interest in giving external stimulation as they are in getting it, there was a distinct preference for receiving when it came to all penetration-related activities.

Fingering Vaginal Penetration: For gay men, Lookiing penetrate and bottoms get penetrated. It is your job to navigate. However, the vast majority of tops and bottoms were into pleasuring their partner — but that could mean so many things!

For another, there are lots of ways to stimulate your clit if you have one while fucking, and many toys and strap-ons are designed with that in mind. Well, ladies submissivee otherwise-identified people, while rumors of a Top Shortage may be overstated, the queer kink community may indeed be suffering from a Dom Shortage.

Nate, a trans guy and a switch in his twenties, explained the difference this way: In a group chat on the topic, Al pointed out: Carolyn, who identifies Looking for that submissive type Portland Maine one submissive, added: When I say I am a bottom, I am referring to this as well as more broadly being on the receiving end in less power-heavy sex.

Those who fell into the latter camp were also more likely to define bottom as being more logistical than psychological.

Other interesting comments included:. Carolyn explained her relationship to the terms this way: For me that means I focus less on perfection and more on working my hardest.

There are many more deviations within: Is it true that femmes were more likely than mascs to identify as bottoms? You bet!

Does that mean all femmes are bottoms? Absolutely not!

Nor is it safe to assume bottoms prefer certain sex acts or dynamics. Bottoming can mean so many different things, all at once or independent of each other: A lot of the language in these posts is intended to make them easy to find on search engines.

Take what you want and what applies to you or what you can make apply to you and your partners and your experiences, and leave the rest! She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word oje, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are!

Follow her on twitter and instagram.

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